Changes
As you read this blog, may I suggest listening to "You're on Your Own, Kid" by Taylor Swift as background music. Or not, that's fine too.
College changes you as a person, for better or for worse. That's my take on it, feel free to criticise. Reflecting on my first term at Dartmouth, time seems to be immaterial. It felt like a whole lifetime and a few seconds all at once. I like to say that I packed my entire life into a suitcase when I came here. While I do mean in a physical sense, I also mean in an emotional sense.
At the end of my first term, I feel that I am an undeniably changed individual (hopefully for the better).
There is something both daunting and freeing about living independently. Did it break my heart to leave my family and everything familiar to me behind? Yes, it did. I didn't think I would be as devastatingly upset as I was, but as soon as I got past immigration in the airport, I was basically drowning in a pool of tears. I was alone and afraid, not only because airports stress me out, but because of the life waiting for me 13,718 kilometres away.
Sometimes, the tiniest things leave me in awe of how different my life is now. Waiting in the laundry room for my clothes to dry, waking up to the entire campus covered in snow, making an appointment at Dick's House. The independency that was thrown at me was truly incomprehensible. I found myself suddenly being completely responsible for taking care of myself.
Being an international, first-generation low-income student, I thought I would struggle to stay on the right path at Dartmouth. While there definitely were certain days where I was struggling, I found ways to stay on track. When the library got too intimidating for me, the First Generation Office made me feel at home. When I was feeling homesick, my family was just a phone call away. Whenever things got a bit too difficult, I turned to the amazing friends I have made here.
As the scorch of summer faded and the leaves started changing colours, I was already starting to acquire new skills and traits. As the snow fell on a cold November night, I was starting to think of Dartmouth as home. As I write this now, Dartmouth does feel like home.
I think it is safe to say I live two lives now. My heart is forever split equally between two places. One half on my beautiful island with my family and friends. One half at Dartmouth, still slowly filling up with experiences and memories.
Even though my heart is split, I still feel whole. To all the international '27s who just got in Early Decision, don't worry, you'll be just fine.